From Wheaton, Illinois:A senior at Wheaton North High School, about 30 miles west of Chicago, is accused of ejaculating into a bottle of ranch salad dressing last week and leaving it on a condiments cart in the cafeteria, school officials said.Hmmm. Perhaps guns in the classroom IS a good idea after all.
The student allegedly bragged to his friends during his lunch period December 6 about the masturbatory episode. One of those students told school leaders Tuesday, and when confronted the boy confessed to contaminating the salad dressing bottle.
On the other hand, considering what school kids eat these days, that was probably the most protein they've had all year!
