She didn't sing but Gwen Stefani rocked on "American Idol" last night. Her flat-out honesty was a breath of fresh air (see Sanjaya). Here's this week's recap:LaKisha: Her fan-tab-ulous boots aside, her performance of "Last Dance" was yet another so-so performance. The vocal was good, but the "wow factor" wasn't there. Rather forgetable.
Chris S: His performance sucked. He took a classic Police song ("Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic") and turned it into a really bad karaoke bar performance. As Gwen said, his tempo was way off.
Gina: Singing the Pretenders' "I'll Stand By You," this was my favorite performance from her so far this season. This was the perfect song for her voice and her personality.
Sanjaya: Are you kidding me with the fucking hair!!?! Ok...that's out of the way. Really...this kid forgot the words to his song in front of Gwen Stefani, who then said "I think it's gonna be real hard for him..it's a hard song...and he chose it...so good luck for him. I feel for him." I just about lost it when she said that. Then this idiot no-talent gets on stage and forgets the words AGAIN. Not acceptable. He's overstayed his welcome. He. Needs. To. Go. The. Hell. Home.
Haley: Her version of "True Colors" was so bland, it was like a really bad elevator muzak re-make. Since there is some sort of nasty conspiracy out there to keep Titi Kaka on the show, I have a hunch Haley will be packing her bags tonight.
Phil: He impressed me last night. His rendition of "Every Breath You Take" was very well done, very controlled, and a huge improvement over last week.
Melinda: She took a song original sung as a duet ("Heaven Knows") and made it her own. It wasn't necessarily the song I would have picked for her but, as always, she turned in the strongest vocal of the night.
Blake: The interesting thing about Blake is that he takes these songs that were considered "modern" when they were originally released and updates them for today's music market. He's hip, he's handsome, and he turned in a strong vocal last night with the Cure's "Love Song."
Jordan: She sang No Doubt's "Hey Baby." Ouch! I really don't know what Simon, Randy, and the rest of America hear in Jordan that I don't, but she sucked last night. It seemed like nothing but an average performance at a seedy karaoke bar.
Chris R: When he rehearsed "Don't Speak" with Gwen Stefani, she mentioned he'd do a good job if he didn't do the whole "vocal olympics things" with his voice. That's the PERFECT phrase for that sort of singing where performers try to squeeze about 12 notes into what should really only be one or two long ones. It's very annoying and I'm glad Gwen put a label on it. As for Chris, he did an admirable job with the song.
The winner of the night for me? Gina, by paper thin margin. Melinda turned in another strong vocal, but the song wasn't right for her. Either way, both ladies will be back next week.
Who should go home? I'm really over TikiTiki Tembo, and I'll keep saying that every week until his face and that hair no longer appear on my TV. That no-talent idiot and his "supporters" are really just making a mockery of the process, proving that America is more dumbed down than I thought.
And so, if Sanjaya doesn't go home, then I think Haley should be the one to go. She's about as talentless as Salamander and I'm surprised she's lasted as long as she has.
(Photo: AP/Fox Television, Frank Micelotta)
